Millennial Love Is Trash AF: But Our Uglasses Still Want It Though

The BBW Slay
5 min readJun 8, 2022


It’s legit damn near 5:00 AM as I have a ton of shit to do, but as I was cleaning my apartment like the fine ass auntie I am, I got swept away somewhere I hate…my damn feelings. Whew chile…

Good ol Caucasian Sis Abbey Smith AKA Yebba got me all in the feels as my Spotify playlist betrayed my “love gangsta” as “Distance” creeped into my spirit. WHY LORDT! It is this one part of the song that ALWAYS gets me…

Because of the time we shared
Time we lost in love with one another
Days we had, pay the cost of losin’
Hearts desire, so soon
I’ll be sending my love all over you

The irony is that I was just twerking to F.N.F. and then BOOM, the universe was like nah…I really want you to sit with how you really feel…how every single, 30ish year old feels at this very moment. Love and relationships are so trash, but we highkey (because the shit ain’t lowkey at all) want all the love smoke.

Millennials in particular were the first generation to get hit the hardest with parents who either didn’t get married at all or stayed in toxic ass marriages “for the kids” which has led to a life of complete confusion, heartache, and a big void in our lives. Our pain and anguish manifests in music and pop culture in general, but every once in a while, a good diddy snaps us back into reality — we are human damn beings and need and desire love.

Here are the top 3 sources of evidence (not up for debate) that Millennials be with the shit and know damn well we wanna be in love (me…I am the damn millennial in denial).

#1: We Bring Up Love Life Woes Every Single Damn Day

I know it can’t be just me and 99% of my social media feed that see either memes, TikToks, or whatever talking shit about love and relationships. Case and point, baby the innanets WENT WILD after the breakup of Lori Harvey and Michael B. Jordan. Now, I am a “geriatric millennial” so I was really not following these folks life like that, but when I tell you I have seen so many confused ass posts. It is a perfect depiction of millennials’ (and maybe a little bit of GenZ too) ambivalence towards love and relationships.

Anything evoking this much time and attention means we really aren’t happy being single (and when I say “single”, I mean not married…that’s a whole ‘nother blog, but you ninjas with long-term significant others run me low as well…raggedy asses). Like seriously…what the hell do we value? Do we wanna live a lifelong “hot girl/boy summer” or be on some throwback Case “Happily Ever After”. SICCUD…me…I am sick of all of us and me too.

#2: We Were Raised with Half Healthy and Half Toxic Images of Black Love

Both 80’s babies and 90’s babies alike had all sorts of crazy images of Black love ranging from the Cosby Show (Lawd, Bill), Martin, Living Single, My Wife and Kids, to modern shows like Blackish and Insecure. Whew chile…I IS TIED! We can literally analyze the family and relationship dynamic on a historical continuum and easily highlight how toxic love and relationships have developed within the last 30+ years. While these are all fictional television shows, we all know the adage that “art imitates life”. We are all over the place with dating and God forbid “courtship” because what the hell is that in 2022?!?!?!?! Who or what do we aspire to be in love? It for damn sure ain’t our parents. And I don’t give a damn if your parents are still together…them folks went through so much hell. Who wants to to sign up for that bullshit???? These are serious questions I personally have zero answers to.

#3: We Tell Lies for Da Gram

I literally know so many “fauxples” (fake ass couples) that be so cute on IG, but miserable as hell in real life. It’s really sad on so many levels. And like why??!?! The psychological toll that it takes on both the individuals doing the faking and the consumers of the fuckery who are “living vicariously” through a lie is in a word PITIFUL! Where did this need to flodge about a relationship for public display come from? For a generation of people who swear on “keeping it real” and “no cap” and all the other urban vernacular epithets about being transparent, we losin’ that battle. A lot of our collective mental health challenges stem from not having the type of love we want so badly. Yes, our parents, aunts, uncles…all the OG’s did a shitty job of being an example, but what do WE want? To be honest, I can’t really even clearly articulate what I want, because I am all over the damn place (and I know I am not alone either).

I literally know so many “fauxples” (fake ass couples) that be so cute on IG, but miserable as hell in real life.

So yeah…It is now 5:20 AM and I have just a few hours to sleep but I am still currently listening to the same Caucasian Sis Yebba on repeat. I am in my own personal hell…my feelings, but I need to grow up and learn how to not only function in my feelings, but be accountable to my own humanity, value myself and have faith that I don’t have to succumb to the shitshow of Millennial love and relationships and create my own love story…with somebody’s son. Whew chile… Pray for ya girl and pray for us all.

Abrazos y besos ❤



The BBW Slay

Written by & for Big, Beautiful & Black Queens, "The BBW Slay" is a body positive, intersectional blog packed with all the #BlackGirlMagic...PERIODT💋