Dear Columbus Zoo: You Can Go Straight to Hell, Signed By a Big, Beautiful & Black Woman
In the year of our Lord 2022, the weak ass Columbus Zoo (Ohio) elected violence as some fatphobic assholes named a gotdamn manatee after the queen we know as Lizzo. In the words of our good fren Zoie…
Columbus Zoo, what the hell made you think it was a good idea to name a damn animal of any sort but ESPECIALLY a damn manatee after a plus size Black Woman?!?! MAKE IT MAKE SENSE! This bears the full stench of some wypipo shit. Here are 3 Ways the Uglass Columbus Zoo has Lizzo (And Cardi too) Fucked Up:
#1: Putting a Black Woman’s Name in Your Mouth Without a Nary Permission Slip
Since slavery, wypipo have always tried to force Black people to take on their names. Even Black family reunions are reminded of human chattel as many of us have the last names of inhumane enslavers. Post-emancipation, one of the biggest flexes we had was the agency over what we name our children. As naturally spiritual people, Black folks (contrary to white ass belief) have deep connections to our namesake. Melissa Viviane Jefferson also known as “Lizzo” was blessed with her birth name AND a name that captures her essence as an artist. The fact that the Columbus Zoo COLUMBUSED her name (pun intended) AND further dehumanized her with STEALING it to give to a fuckin animal is worthy of a full serving of a shit pie.
#2: Miss Us in Advance With the White Ass Fragilty: Y’all Are Racist, Fatphobic, Misogynists
Hey, Columbus Zoo! Let’s take a stroll down “Intersectionality” Lane which white women already tried to co-opt but AHT AHT…a Black woman, Kimberle’ Crenshaw coined the term.
I have said this before and it needs to be said again: Being Black is hard…being a Black woman is hard AF…being a fat Black woman is relentless. None of these issues were taken into consideration when the descendants from the Caucus mountains n’ dem decided to name a sea animal after a human being. Fuck “implicit bias” training. Every damn person involved or complicit with this irresponsible action should be fired. Periodt.
#3: If You Hate Fat Black Women, Just Say That
If you gon show ass, you better bare it all. It is not debatable that whoever executed this unspeakable act hates fat Black women. Out of all the names Chad and Kipper’s from the land down under lookin ass could have come up with, y’all ironically thought of a Black plus size Grammy Award Winning Music Artist? And if yall were trying to go for a Big Woman, why wasn’t she white? Isn’t your target attendees to the zoo white? Not to shit on Big White girls, but don’t bring that energy over here. How is this bullshit ass transgression any different than a modern day minstrel show on high fructose corn syrup (because that shit is just as fucked up as steroids). Idgaf wtf y’all say. The shit was planned and purposely used to drag a Big Black woman.
An apology ain’t enough…HIT…THESE…FOLKS…WITH…A PINK SLIP…YOU’RE FIRES!
Whew chile, the fatphobic misogynoir ass gall and the blickety Black ass silence is LOUD AF.