Dear Black Brothers Who Hate Black Women, Please Get Help!

The BBW Slay
4 min readApr 6, 2020


Yesterday on our Instagram page, a random, troll ass brotha came to disrupt a whole virtual celebration of black, bbw girl magic.

I simply posted a nice, motivational post to lift the spirits of plus sized black women as we are all sick of people not stayin' the f*ck home and further spreading COVID-19!

Exhibit A

As much as I wanted to curse this man out, it wasn’t worth my time or energy. This man is hurt. I don’t know his story. And guess what…IT IS NOT MY DAMN RESPONSIBILITY TO FIGURE IT OUT! Misogyny is a mental illness, layered with misogynoir (specific hatred of/toward black women) is just a full blown mental health crisis.

Here are 3 tips to support broken ass men who hate black women and act a damn fool on social media:


IDGAF who it is…absolutely NO ONE is allowed to disrespect you or attempt to disturb your peace. Bruh…we literally are in a whole damn pandemic and you still got time to troll black women’s spaces leaving trails of your brokenness? Look brotha…MISS US WITH THAT BULLSHIT! Black women especially are put into too many situations where we are loyal to our own detriment. Block dat ass, chuck da deuces and make a cute Tik Tok video with the “Savage" routine (WE STAN MEG!!!!).

Exhibit B

2. Hurt People Hurt People, So Don’t Argue

I could have very easily dragged this unknown man for filth, but why? It is clear that there are underlying issues and arguing with this unrecognizable gentleman would literally exacerbate whatever hurt he is unable to reconcile. Often times, people who troll and comment with bullshit like this on social media are looking for reasons to justify their illogical perceptions of groups of people. Arguing with this lost soul would just add salt to his severe ass wounds. Just leave his ass on Al Gore’s innanets, sis.

3. Use Your Platform to Speak Out Against Misogynoir

Again…IDGAF who hurt yo' ass, wtf you not gon' do is bring yo non-invited ass into celebratory spaces of black womanhood…NOT TUH-DAY! Black women are not the world’s punching bags. Whatever fuckedupness you have going on as black men, we literally have adjacent issues PLUS some extra bullshit that is specific to black womanhood (and yes, I said BLACK womamhood, so this blog ain’t for you, Karen). Black trauma between the sexes is not a damn pissing match. I am of the firm belief that every single human being from African descent is owed free therapy & additional mental health support as a portion of our overdue reparations.

I am of the firm belief that every single human being from African descent is owed free therapy & additional mental health support as a portion of our overdue reparations.

No matter how much our wounds hurt us, it is never okay to attack or demean ANYONE. It is not up for debate when Black women say it cuts a little bit deeper when this type of vitriol is spewed from Black men. Yes…WE EXPECT MORE FROM YALL! The sheer history in this country of forced, inhumane slavery is enough reason for us to cling to each other even harder.

I know all brothas ain’t like this one, so don’t come with the shit, Rashad, okay! For those brothas who respect, love and cherish black women, this is a call to action. HOLD THESE HURT ASS MEN ACCOUNTABLE! Just like black people get tired of explaining racism to wypipo--black women get tired of explaining misogynoir. We need you as allies. Link up with brothas in your tribe who exhibit toxic behaviors and perceptions about black women and either educate them or help them seek professional help. Because we “sick and tired of being sick and tired".

Love Black Women.

Support Black Women.

Trust Black Women.

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The BBW Slay

Written by & for Big, Beautiful & Black Queens, "The BBW Slay" is a body positive, intersectional blog packed with all the #BlackGirlMagic...PERIODT💋