3 Strategies on How to Deal with Dumb Ass People at Work When You Are a Black Woman & Smarter than Everyone
Who can relate…You are in a boring ass team meeting at work where no one is really coming up with any solutions — literally just bullshitting, wasting everyone’s time. Because of white privilege and patriarchy, you, the fierce black queen you are, feel like you are playing damn double dutch trying to hop in and get a word in. Once you FINALLY get these dumb ass people to acknowledge your queendom, you…AND ONLY YOU provide a solution and then all of a sudden everyone goes into straight interrogation mode — completely forgetting about all the stupid ass shit they said prior. Now where the hell was all that energy when y’all were talking in circles leading down a rabbit hole of nothingness. Whew chile…IT RUNS YOU LOW!
There is light at the end of the tunnel, sis. Here are 3 MAJOR strategies to survive dumb ass people at work:
1: Suggest that the team incorporates principles of deliberation during meetings as a norm of practice.
Webster’s Dictionary defines deliberation as:
The act of thinking about or discussing something and deciding carefully.
Deliberation is such a beautiful yet lost art in professional discourse. Ego, hubris and straight up ass kissing often create contentious spaces that are meant to be both collaborative and meaningful. As a black woman rule of thumb, always stick to being solutions-oriented. While we know folks are basic af, misogynoir is real ESPECIALLY in the workplace, so shifting the focus on some “get right” will make for more pleasant exchanges.
Sometimes the solutions don’t have to be content specific — it can be focused on soft skills and sheer emotional intelligence that many people lack. Let’s pause and talk about how critical emotional intelligence is.
Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. (Psychology Today, n.d.)
There are four types of Emotional Intelligence: Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Social Awareness, and Relationship Management. If you don’t have this book in your literary arsenal to fight against fuckery, you should grab it like yesterday:
I would say make a suggestion to the team to read it, but their (likely) lack of emotional intelligence would make them feel intimidated — because remember, you are both a black woman AND smarter than everyone, so that may not be the best approach. I would use it as a personal attribute to just be lit by yourself and stunt on all these slaw ass employees with exceptional professional prowess.
Going back to, deliberation — deliberation shifts the culture to a more democratic approach to collaboration where everyone’s input is intentionally included and acknowledged — MESSAGE! Please know that there is a difference between “including input” and for it to actually be acknowledged. How many times have you heard senior leadership say, “Thank you for your input”. That is the most disrespectful, little nice-nasty response. Essentially, in those instances, the leader is on some patronizing ass shit. And ain’t nobody got time for that.
2: Volunteer to Take Notes
I know…I know…taking notes sounds demeaning af, HOWEVER, the note-taker is responsible for supporting the team with reaching a consensus particularly as it relates to decision making. They also are able to interject throughout the duration of the discussions to restate what has been discussed and essentially bringing everything back together, and most importantly, helping the team to remain on topic. Essentially the note-taker is the gatekeeper of the narrative. They also have a hand in accountability like with clearly articulating post-meeting action steps including assignments and deadlines. Also, remember the old adage: “If its not in writing, it didn’t happen.” It is ALWAYS good to have things in writing — keep dem receipts on deck! It is inevitable that someone will try to come for the black woman, so find you a cute little note template, sis in case Betsy and Trevor try to be with the shit.
3: Don’t Be Afraid to Play Devil’s Advocate
I promise, Betsy, Trevor n’ dem LOVE the concept of “playing devil’s advocate”. It will make them feel like they are really doing some deep, critical thinking, but as a fellow black goddess, you know what the deal is…you’re just trying to put an end to the ridiculous statements (not thoughts really) being made. This strategy is pretty simple:
Trevor: “Blah, blah, blah…dumb shit, dumb shit.
Betsy: “I concur…dumb ass rationale followed by a myriad of non sequitur trash.”
Black Queen: “Well Trevor and Betsy…what if we played devil’s advocate and [insert #BlackGirlMagic].”
Being a black woman is already hard af, but when it comes to the workplace, intersectionality woes come at you quick! While these 3 strategies will not dismantle white supremacy, systemic oppression nor patriarchy, it will protect you from going straight DMX on your entire office. Keep pressing forward, sis!
